|Maella Abbey (maella_abbey) wrote,|
@ 2008-03-25 18:57:00
She wishes, sometimes, that she had been ready to start a family before this happened, though she knows she wouldn't be able to care for him this way - stubbornly alone - with a child growing inside her.
Sometimes, she wonders at herself, that she would give him up, broken though he is, in order to have a small part of him. Others, she wonders at her need to keep him to herself, keep him hers, keep the vain hope that she can draw him back whole.
She suspects both are because there's so little of him left, and again her thoughts circle wistfully back to a child.
In the darkest hours of the night, Jessica can't decide which torments her more, wishes or hope.